Feeling Settled at 36, In the Most Adventurous Way

I always feel a little reflective as my birthday comes around, and I think it only becomes more intense the older I get and the more life I have behind me to reflect on. Today, I’m 36. As 40 edges closer I think a lot about how I was so terrified of turning 30, but now 40 doesn’t feel scary, granted, I’m still four years away. In my 20’s I felt like there were so many expectations for me by the time I turned 30. That I should have kids, I should own a home and I should be settled.

Here’s the thing, Matt and I did most of the expected things by then. Matt and I decided to stay in Missouri, where we had a really big community. The vast majority of my family is here, which meant a support system. My in-laws also built a house and moved here too. We both got full-time jobs, we bought a house, and a couple of months into 30 I got pregnant with our daughter. We had done it. We checked off our list of expectations.

While those things are some of the most incredible things in my life, they were also everyone else’s expectations of me. Of what is “normal” for a woman in her 30’s. But then, I discovered, that I don’t have to settle. I don’t have to literally settle down or settle for a lifestyle different than what I want.

Matt’s job is almost fully remote. My job offers a lot of flexibility, and thanks to you, dear reader, I have the ability to make some money from my blog, sharing my story and detailed info from our adventures. And we have our beautiful family. When Matt and I got together, I told him my dream way of parenting would be living in a converted bus, homeschooling my children around the country. And while we don’t have a converted school bus, we do have our 36-foot camper, and while I’m not homeschooling yet, the keyword is yet. I have truly realized in this last year, that I can have it all. It’s almost like waking up.

This year, Matt and I have both just been inspired. We have big dreams that we’re looking to accomplish together, and that feels exciting to me. 2026 is the year we’re making dreams come true. We’re focusing on different aspects of my blog, Matt is carving more time out for his music and has a renewed passion for photography again, I’ve launched my first TrovaTrip and am hoping to host a group of women in Ecuador this September – there’s still room on this trip, 25% down gets your spot guaranteed, and this is the year we’re actually going to launch our podcast. This has been on the list for two years now, but we’re actually going to do it!

So, as I sit here on my 36th birthday, on our first camping trip of the year, sipping coffee in my camper with my family around me about to go chase waterfalls, I’m content. And I’m settled. But what’s making me feel settled is feeling free. I realized what makes me feel settled is support and contentment in being free and also having a home to come back to. We’re very fortunate that we’ve found jobs and a lifestyle that supports that, and that feels so, so good.

I hope that wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, you’re spending this Sunday feeling supported, feeling settled, feeling free, and remembering what a beautiful gift it is to be alive.