Notes from Quarantine

I want to preface this as these are just my notes about my personal experience with a specific filter of travel. I 100% acknowledge that my experience is vastly different from other people’s and I have been truly fortunate, all things considered. My family is healthy, my friends are healthy, Matt + I both have income coming in. However, I wanted to share my personal experience, the things I have learned, the things I’ve missed and just process with my followers – who I assume are also travelers and dealing with that other side of travel. All this to say, I know I’m blessed, privileged + fortunate, I just also want to share + process with my people.

The very first of March started my COVID-19 anxiety. As more and more cases, and sadly more and more deaths, were reported on the West Coast, I started to be very anxious about our upcoming flights to Hawaii which passed through both L.A. and Seattle. I’m naturally an anxious person, flying itself is one of my major fears, but you add a then-epidemic into the mix and I was very elevated, and honestly scared. The thought of cancelling our trip started to creep into my head. I talked with friends about it and Matt and I started to discuss whether or not we thought it was smart for us to fly. I have asthma, and I work for my mom (who also has asthma) every spring and I certainly didn’t want to pass anything to her.

Then, three days before we would be starting our journey to Hawaii for our epic week of hiking, I got the flu. Two days later, so did Matt. I don’t think I’ve ever been so grateful to have the flu. All my anxieties and guilts about canceling our trip because we were scared and getting nothing back from our travel insurance vanished because it turns out testing positive for Influenza A is a valid reason to cancel a trip. Obviously, I was so sad to not be turning 30 on a mountain in Maui, but I was also so happy to not feel the stress that had been bubbling up.

We had no idea just how lucky we were because before we would’ve been home from Hawaii, borders started closing and COVID-19 went from an epidemic to a global pandemic. Although we could’ve come home, we would’ve been on flights with all the people desperately trying to get back home. Of course, not everyone on these flights were infected, but in my heightened state of anxiety, I would’ve been an absolute mess on those flights.

In mid-March, the brewery I work at had to go to curbside only and the family greenhouse I manage started to panic about what was going to happen to us. By late March, Greene County (the county I work in and live about two miles from) announced a stay-at-home order and our county followed suit not long after. Matt and I are fortunate enough that our jobs, all of them, were deemed essential but we all just had to change the way we did everything.

The work for me that was hardest to be motivated to do was blog. I had all these thoughts and feelings just swimming around in my brain. Is it wrong to continue to talk travel? Should I be banking on the idea that everyone is stuck at home and wanting to start planning trips, even if they don’t know when they get to go? Is anyone actually doing that? Am I doing that? No one is reading my blog right now. Why am I uninspired? Why am I uninspired to even think of traveling? Will I get to travel at all this year? All my goals for the year are shot! Every time I sat down at the computer to type it was like there was a pit in my stomach. Every now and then I’d get a smidge of inspiration, but it waned about 150 words in or there was guilt after 150 words again.

I was unmotivated as I watched my page views drop. I saw my blogging income stop. I didn’t get any affiliate sales and my lack of inspiration just got worse and worse. One of my dear friends told me to switch my focus during this time to my journey to a more sustainable lifestyle – which was a wonderful idea that I’m planning to do now – but I still couldn’t get that inspiration to ignite.

I decided it was okay to step back. It’s been well over a month since I published anything on here. Instead, we switched our focus into having just so much time together once again. It was a nice break to be able to have evenings off together. So, we focused on making the absolute most of our time at home. We worked so hard on landscaping our yard and making it a wonderful oasis for us since we’ll be spending even more time at home this year. We put in flowerbeds, planted our garden and Matt even expanded our patio. It’s been so lovely to do things together and see the fruits of our labor together.

Now, Greene + Christian counties are slowly opening things. However, we’re still apprehensive to some degree for a couple of reasons. One, we know the virus isn’t over just because a certain date hits. Two, we have saved so much money staying home, even with all the home improvement projects we’ve been doing. That means we get to travel to new, more exciting destinations than planned and sooner than we thought we would, assuming we’re able to fly internationally anytime in the next year or so.

Although things are opening up, our plans to travel in 2020 have still changed greatly, partially because of Covid-19, and partially because of other things going on in life – as life has a way of doing. 2020 will likely be the first year in over a decade I haven’t left the country, small trips have been postponed, changed or canceled and we’re uneasy about booking trips.

The other night, we got outside and hiked 3.25 miles even though it was pretty chilly and very misty out. We didn’t go far from home, less than 30 minutes away, but even this simple act of hiking set our souls on fire. We feel inspired, energized and excited that little things are getting back to normal. This has inspired us to get back into our normal springtime habit of getting out and exploring the Ozarks in the spring. Starting this week, actually. We had a rainy week ahead of us, but we still made the most of our evenings and explored in the evenings. We had mini adventures 4 times last week and it was exactly what my soul needed. I cannot wait to feel that sense of adventure more regularly and just enjoy getting back to the feeling of wandering, while still being responsible and safe. Since that first night we’ve hiked just over 15 miles and it feels so very good.

Last week we even dared to make some tentative plans for a domestic trip this fall, assuming everything is safe. I’m excited to maybe get to show Matt one of my very favorite places in the U.S. and also get to stop and see my uncle on the way. We’re a little nervous to have yet another trip fall through, but we’re cautiously excited too.

In addition to starting to be excited to plan trips, I have to say that this has re-ignited an even bigger fire under me to live a more sustainable lifestyle. I’ve missed the ability to use reusables while still trying to support our local economy, but I look forward to being able to take my reusable coffee cups back to coffee shops and have been able to use my reusable bags in the last week. Also, we’ve been buying more local things, we’ve grown our own garden and just tried to do more and more. I’ve even asked for a rain barrel and composter for our anniversary this year. So look for that to be an even bigger focus here on the blog!

How have you been handling the quarantine? Have you been traveling, planning travels or tackling new projects? Toot your own horn and tell me what you’ve been up to! We’re all in this together and I hope we all make it out of this with lasting lessons learned and changes in our lives that make us live more intentional, inspired and kinder lives.