Last week, on a simple Tuesday night, I had one of the best nights of my entire year. Matt kindly gifted me an evening of solo adventure. I got to go out to a local state forest near our house and I hiked 5.15 miles by myself.
To be honest, I haven’t done a solo hike in years. When Matt and I got together, I gained an incredible hiking partner, but also, I realized last night that I lost on in myself at the same time.
I’ve been talking with Matt about taking a solo road trip to hike in Moab next fall. It’s one of my favorite places in the U.S. – and the world, really – and it occurred to me that I’ve never been there solo. I’ve been nothing but excited at the thought of doing all the long trails I’ve always wanted to do, but I’m not gonna lie… when I first started to hike, I felt a little bored. I even wondered, do I actually like hiking solo? I trudged along for about 15 minutes when the skies opened up and it started to rain. And in that moment, it was like a light switch was flipped. The universe was telling me to wake up.
I laughed out loud as the rain dripped down over me. I spread my arms wide and danced in circles, praising our earth for its willingness to provide life and inspiration. In the miles after this, I found myself taking in all kinds of small details. I saw two groundhogs, two bunnies and about a thousand cicadas. I took time to look at flowers and plants all along the trail. (I mean, look at that beautiful Missouri primrose!) And it didn’t stop there. It was the time I took to notice all kinds of small things that made for an unbelievable experience.
I absolutely love my family. I love being a mama and I love being a wife, but I also love being me. I am proud of who I’ve grown into, and while I have many faults and flaws, I also have a lot to give to myself and to others. My biggest goal for 2024 was to try to strike a better balance in all the roles that I play. All-in-all I think I’m getting there. But last week woke something in me and it felt important to me to document it.
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