I couldn’t sleep Saturday night because I had this Mary Oliver quote stuck in my head:
« Tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?»
«Let me keep my distance, always, from those who think they have the answers. Let me keep company, always, with those that say, “Look!”, and laugh with astonishment, and bow their heads. »
This past month I have been a little bit caught up about the people in my life who don’t really understand what I want to do, people who “care” but don’t make an effort, people who know what I should be doing or people who just bring general negativity to my life, and Mary kindly reminded me that those aren’t the people that I need to focus on. This allowed me to reevaluate who I’m focusing my energy on, letting the negativity go and surrounding myself with the most supportive parents, brother, boyfriend and group of friends I could ever ask for!
« I want to think again of dangerous and noble things. I want to be light and frolicsome. I want to be improbable, beautiful and afraid of nothing, as though I had wings. »
Mary was reminding me that now is the time to be focusing on new adventures! With Asia right around the corner, I’m focusing on being improbable, beautiful and afraid of nothing.
« Listen– are you breathing just a little and calling it life? »
I mean, who doesn’t need a reminder to live your life to the fullest from time to time?
« Sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed. »
This was especially crazy, cool for me. I had told a friend at the beginning of January that I wanted to my word for 2015 to be ‘bless’- that being blessed, to accept blessings, and to bless others were all going to be a priority to me this year, and be something that I’m greatly aware of. I have already been blown away by the blessings in my life and I’m only 33 days into the year. This was just such a powerful reminder that I don’t have to seek out blessings, that I don’t have to travel to Asia, be back in Missouri, or at my apartment in North Carolina to be blessed. I am blessed where I stand, right now, for a plethora of reasons.
As I finished up my reading and writing at the cafe I found myself filled with a joy, an inspiration and this sense of wonder that I hadn’t had in Missouri in a while. As I drove down old, country roads near my parents’ house, listening to beautiful folk music, watching the rain fall on the outstretched road I was brought to tears. I was just overwhelmed and had to pull off to the side to take photos and take a moment to acknowledge that I was blessed, right there where I stood.
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